oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
