u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Randomize
