the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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