So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
