ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
