He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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