just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
