Well douche your snatch and let's go!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize