thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
