I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
