I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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