Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
