you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
