I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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