Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
