oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
