a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
