Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
