well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
