I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
