I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
