we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize