so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sober January is a disaster.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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