I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
