my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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