u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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