What a fucking waste of an outfit
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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