worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.