I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
