Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  We're facebook friends in real life

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  (561): We're facebook friends in real life http://tfl.nu/e7wr
  Replies (2) Good night (1017) Bad night (1079)
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  (347): View more from New York

  tell your sister to shave her snatch

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  (347): tell your sister to shave her snatch http://tfl.nu/u0ig
  Replies (17) Good night (1330) Bad night (3434)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

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  (304): apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training... http://tfl.nu/a5eu
  Replies (36) Good night (4285) Bad night (839)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.

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  (513): She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before. http://tfl.nu/zkf3
  Replies (53) Good night (8816) Bad night (1080)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.

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  (815): you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night. http://tfl.nu/m1vr
  Replies (6) Good night (3533) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice

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  (443): frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice http://tfl.nu/wkbo
  Replies (6) Good night (845) Bad night (2157)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.

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  (204): I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here. http://tfl.nu/z5ot
  Replies (6) Good night (1141) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Post that event on your timeline

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  (812): Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina (513): Post that event on your timeline http://tfl.nu/4t95
  Replies (31) Good night (1777) Bad night (539)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...

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  (540): So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be... http://tfl.nu/o9g8
  Replies (9) Good night (1433) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.

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  (213): 2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here. http://tfl.nu/53p6
  Replies (3) Good night (1075) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.

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  (256): I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down. http://tfl.nu/18pc
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.

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  (757): I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci. http://tfl.nu/01hs
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere

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  (315): It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere http://tfl.nu/b71m
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.

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  (314): Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal. http://tfl.nu/brzb
  Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.

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  (706): I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there. http://tfl.nu/yj1a
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (186)

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