I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card