Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
