Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
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Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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