he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
