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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
