Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
