I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
