A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She swung at the pinata with crutches
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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