His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
