I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
