Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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