im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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