We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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