and you said cock pushups were impossible
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
