I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
