I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
