Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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