Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
