How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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