Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
sex in a hospital.. check
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize