Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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