hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
