New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
