What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
