you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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