He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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