Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
