so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
