Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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