Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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