i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize