Apparently you make a good broom.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
this boner is exhausting
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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