i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
