UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Im part way to drunk.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
